dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
