I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
