they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
