ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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