Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
