He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
