In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
