So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
