Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
