I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
