they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
