I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
