spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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