I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
