Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize