Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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