I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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