I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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