So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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