then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
