Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
