how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
