One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
