just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize