I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
