i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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