Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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