Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Watching her eat just hurts me
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I pour the whiskey from now on
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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