I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
do herpes really smell.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
