I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
