I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
