I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
