Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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