we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
