Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
