Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
