I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
