She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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