I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
