I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
