Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
