I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize