I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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