She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
