Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
