i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
