i don't like sucking hair
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
