Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
