I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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