I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm way too hungover for life right now
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
