Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
