he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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