I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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