I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
