garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
