Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
