I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Boobs speak an international language.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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