My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got inside last night via doggy door
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
