member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
