Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
