I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
All the doctor said was why
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
