So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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