Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
