You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
