OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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