We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
